my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
