well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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