her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
