All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
