**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
