yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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