i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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