The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
