He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
