I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
