Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm both gender and math confused
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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