When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
