everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think my nap took me to another dimension
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
