I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
