when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
