I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I met the friendliest cop last night
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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