Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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