Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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