your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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