I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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