when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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