maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
