My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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