Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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