You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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