I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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