Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
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This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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