you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
