Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
