covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
