If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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