dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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