Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Apparently you make a good broom.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
