You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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