Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
