I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
