So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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