You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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