I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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