Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
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