i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
