Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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