THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
