you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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