The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
