the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
