Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
