Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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