Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Don't make out with my wife yet

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  (205): Don't make out with my wife yet http://tfl.nu/oypy
  Replies (3) Good night (1055) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  you were so drunk you slurred your pauses

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  (440): you were so drunk you slurred your pauses http://tfl.nu/u543
  Replies (6) Good night (4467) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.

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  (954): i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month. http://tfl.nu/t4na
  Replies (4) Good night (3540) Bad night (639)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill

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  (206): I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill http://tfl.nu/rtkb
  Replies (23) Good night (5661) Bad night (666)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?

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  (206): is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present? http://tfl.nu/b6gp
  Replies (27) Good night (4705) Bad night (2436)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.

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  (587): She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28. http://tfl.nu/r7ey
  Replies (8) Good night (1081) Bad night (4419)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend

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  (636): i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend http://tfl.nu/jil2
  Replies (7) Good night (6443) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE

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  (732): test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE http://tfl.nu/cfpm
  Replies (7) Good night (1487) Bad night (1948)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.

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  (267): I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it. http://tfl.nu/g3cm
  Replies (3) Good night (1291) Bad night (1650)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".

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  (803): It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face". http://tfl.nu/rfcu
  Replies (6) Good night (2127) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on

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  (508): Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on http://tfl.nu/0ff0
  Replies (8) Good night (1203) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.

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  (989): These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila. http://tfl.nu/gkow
  Replies (6) Good night (932) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah

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  (650): Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah http://tfl.nu/cx0s
  Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!

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  (905): Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good! http://tfl.nu/hwch
  Replies (1) Good night (1108) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.

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  (732): I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already. http://tfl.nu/laji
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (294)

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