she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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