Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing