But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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