Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?

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(973): who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture? http://tfl.nu/e2ho

Replies (38) Good night (1213) Bad night (3497)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?

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(843): did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity? http://tfl.nu/ve53

Replies (21) Good night (2517) Bad night (836)
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(716): View more from New York

You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...

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(716): You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am... http://tfl.nu/rcas

Replies (16) Good night (1203) Bad night (5279)
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(650): View more from California

I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.

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(650): I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered. http://tfl.nu/k2a9

Replies (11) Good night (4366) Bad night (944)
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(631): View more from New York

Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america

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(631): Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america http://tfl.nu/n1lq

Replies (27) Good night (8295) Bad night (1080)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.

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(724): after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger. http://tfl.nu/1s95

Replies (46) Good night (1421) Bad night (15374)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.

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(306): They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties. http://tfl.nu/2id3

Replies (24) Good night (10072) Bad night (962)
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(512): View more from Texas

He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.

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(512): He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice. http://tfl.nu/cehn

Replies (7) Good night (892) Bad night (3139)
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(303): View more from Colorado

wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil

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(303): wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil http://tfl.nu/oyvg

Replies (19) Good night (8685) Bad night (1878)
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(727): View more from Florida

Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?

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(727): Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail? http://tfl.nu/rsvd

Replies (3) Good night (1996) Bad night (850)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.

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(610): Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates. http://tfl.nu/faj1

Replies (5) Good night (2512) Bad night (637)
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(630): View more from Illinois

The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.

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(630): The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time. http://tfl.nu/80xt

Replies (7) Good night (2835) Bad night (575)
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(602): View more from Arizona

All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you

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(602): All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you http://tfl.nu/oj33

Replies (7) Good night (1817) Bad night (472)
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(818): View more from California

I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.

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(818): I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car. http://tfl.nu/zey7

Replies (11) Good night (424) Bad night (1183)
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(319): View more from Iowa

"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.

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(319): "Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits. http://tfl.nu/w2vw

Replies (8) Good night (498) Bad night (827)

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