God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
