If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize