So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
