we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
