This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
