Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
