i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
