i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
