I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
