I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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